Sex Addiction

Medicating on Sex or Sex Addiction

Medicating on sex is another way of reducing emotional pain. The individual who does this may not necessarily have a high sex drive and it is important not to confuse sex addiction with a strong libido (which is a sign of good health even if one or both partners have trouble dealing with it).

Sex addiction occurs in both males and females, heterosexual and gay. Not a lot has been written about sex addiction so I have gone into a little more detail here than for the other addictions.
Medicating on sex typically involves activities that are unusual or risky and create a psychological high caused by adrenaline and endomorphins. This differs from the high resulting from normal excitement or orgasm.
Two other pointers that suggest the presence of sex addiction are first inability to achieve true adult intimacy with only one person and secondly a history of untreated sexual abuse as a child or teenager. A person who regularly experiences withdrawal symptoms (getting angry, shutting down emotionally or isolating, instead of enjoying the usual closeness) following orgasm may also be using sex as a medication.

Medicating on sex is often first identified by the person’s obsession with talking about sex, seeing and hearing sexual innuendoes in even the most ordinary situations and conversations. ‘Acting out’ behaviours are less easy to observe but can involve any of the following:

v having multiple sex partners or regular one night sexual encounters without commitment

v regularly changing sexual partners or dating several ‘regular’ sexual partners within the same period

v if in a long term relationship, having regular affairs outside that relationship and letting partner know about these

v regular use of phone sex or sexual interactions using the Internet’ or E-mail to allow sexual gratification without closeness or commitment

v compulsive and excessive masturbation or use of pornography to avoid intimacy

v regularly visiting massage parlours, strip shows or other sex services while avoiding close relationships

v spending large sums of money on sexually explicit videos, magazines or sexual subscription services on the internet. Keeping a large supply of such material on hand as a ‘stash’

v making unwelcome or inappropriate sexual advances or sexually harassing other people

v making indecent phone calls, voyeurism, exhibitionism or ‘flashing’

v forcing any person to share sexual activities, including rape, incest, child molestation or abuse

v an obsessive desire to take part in unusual or bizarre sexual practices

Keep in mind that it is normal for couples in a close mature relationship to experiment with a wide range of novel or offbeat sexual practices (for example viewing pornographic videos and discussing unusual sexual variety) as long as this is done in private and both parties not only consent but find it sexually exciting. The more random or occasional the offbeat activity, the less the chance it is related to sex addiction. The more regular and repetitive the pattern the greater the possibility that some element of sex addiction is involved.

It is also normal for couples to share sexual fantasies that involve strange or unusual activities which neither would dream of acting out in real life. This normally has nothing to do with sexual addiction. But if one partner wants to start acting out these fantasies in real life and this would require a break in intimacy or commitment it may be a pointer to a growing level of sexual addiction.

Sexual Anorexia
Sexual anorexia is also a form of sex addiction. The sexual anorexic addictive cycle obsesses about avoiding anything sexual. The high they get from this avoidance is similar to the high experienced by an anorexic who avoids eating as a way of medicating or lessening their emotional pain. As with eating disorders the sexual anorexic usually has occasional bouts of "sexual bulimia", that is excessive sexual activity followed by "purging".

Medicating on Sex or Sex Addiction

Medicating on sex is just another way of reducing emotional pain. The individual who does this may not necessarily have a high sex drive and it is important not to confuse sex addiction with a strong libido (which is a sign of good health even if one or both partners have trouble dealing with it).