Feedback, Blog and Links

A recent comment from a client in the UK ...

I decided I wanted to contact John Nutting because I knew had some really terrible core beliefs about myself, but I could not identify them clearly. I had come from an abusive background and didn't want to pass my core beliefs down to my children and watch them re-enact them in their adult lives as I had with my different partners again and again.

I wasn't quite sure what those beliefs were but I decided (I am a successful life coach myself) that it was about time that I understood why I kept attracting bad relationships even though I had spent many hours with other counsellors and done a lot of work on myself in the past. But when it came to my relationships I still appeared to be going round in the same old circles. Why?

I now realise that my negative core beliefs were the forces inside me that kept me re-enacting my childhood with each of my partners and loved ones, a bit like re-telling the same old fairy story in the hope that sooner or later there would be a new and happier ending!

With John's guidance I have discovered that once I start balancing my negative core beliefs with my powerful positive beliefs I can start to be my authentic self and look forward to having healthy grown up relationships.

Now, after the work I have done with John over the phone in recent weeks I am starting to feel that at last I am growing up emotionally.

I have had time to reflect. I have had a chance to digest everything that has happened. My inner child "Little (....name withheld...) feels safe for the first time.

I woke up this morning thinking that its not going to be so hard any more.

Feedback

At the core of self-awareness and core belief work is the understanding that the more time and the emotional energy we use up...

*waiting and wanting and hoping other people will pay attention to us,

* wanting and hoping for other people to like us, trust us or love us or appreciate us ....

* talking about other people with other people

* writing about other people to other people

* waiting, wanting and hoping that other people will change (the way we want them to)

The less time we are working on our own issues or doing things that help ourselves.

The amount of time that you and I spend focusing outwards on other people and on them and their issues is a dead set indicator of the degree to which our negative core beliefs are still hard at work inside us.

The more often you stand on Awareness Hill and see this clearly the more often you will know that you are achieving one of the most incredible steps forward in growing your self-awareness and self empowerment.

Free Inner Self Profile Sheet

For many years I have been using an Inner Self profile sheet that allows you to keep a visual record of your inner selves as you meet and talk with them. There are different places for different kinds of selves on the sheet according to their different energies or the different ways they do things to protect you.

If you would like a free copy of the latest version of this Profile sheet please send me an email. Click the link. Please include the header FREE INNER SELF PROFILE (Sorry ....I have no idea why but Comcast will not permit me to reply to any Comcast e-mail address. Please give me an alternate reply address such as Yahoo or Hotmail)

Links to other Voice Dialogue websites

Links to Voice Dialogue Practitioners and facilitators

Links to other Self Awareness and Spiritual websites

Video Links

Endorsed Self Awareness Self empowerment
and Inner Self Sites

I have a special page for people I know and work with and who I am very happy to endorse personally because I know the contribution they are making to the wonderful and rewarding fields of Self Awareness, Self Empowerment and Self healing

Click here for Endorsed Self Awareness Self empowerment and Inner Self Sites

If you have worked or trained with me and would like to be included on that page please e-mail me. (You will know my address)

Processing Your Past

Healing and recovery from past trauma and abuse can only work if it involves the essential step of ‘processing’.

Processing involves working through past history in a special way. It’s not just about remembering and it certainly isn’t about getting worked up or angry about what people have done to you in the past. It is also not about simply forgiving those people without processing first.

So how do you process your past?:

1. Make sure you are working from an aware grown-up place. Processing is grown-ups work and it can only work when you are in your grown-up aware energy.

2. Make sure you have secured your inner child in a very safe place where they will not be involved at all in the processing.

3. Start by making a brief written record of your past history. If you would like a free copy of the Trauma History sheet I use please e-mail me. It is based on the type of history sheet designed by Pia Mellody.

4. Processing involves working through the memories, coming to understand what might have been going on for your parents, teachers, religious figures, group leaders, counsellors, doctors, nurses, the people who abused you or subjected you to trauma that you should not have experienced.

This is not about forgiving them. It is about dealing with the reality about who these people really were and how badly they too might have been abused in their childhood and how their own abuse history might have caused them to abuse you.

5. Why do this? Because deep down inside every traumatised or abused child is an unfortunate self-blame belief that “somehow it was my fault” or “If I had been a better child it would not have happened to me.” At the core of processing is the removal of this self-blame. To archive that you need to be able not to blame someone else but to recognise that whatever happened was not caused by YOUR inner child.

You will know when you have processed each experience when you can say to yourself